Mr. Delish’s Guacamole Recipe and first ever blog post
Mr. Delish here. This is my first ever blog post, so just bear with me. I will be posting some pseudo-recipes for things I make and my wife loves to eat. Just forewarning, my cooking style is to use recipes as a guide and then make it my own through additions/subtractions based on feel. Yes, I said FEEL. I cannot explain what compels me to make changes to recipes. I just do it. This concept baffles my wife. Mainly because I cannot communicate this cooking “feeling” I have…ironic. I will be encouraging you to find your feel for cooking. If I already have you out of your comfort zone, then don’t stop reading. This is right where I want you. I want you to be bold, creative, and DO NOT fear failing. On that note, on to my wife’s favorite guacamole recipe. Actually one other quick thing, if you don’t like cilantro, leave now. There is no way I am going to allow you to remove cilantro from this recipe.
Start with 4-6 ripe avocados. To determine if an avocado is ripe, give it a push with your thumb. You should be able to press into the avocado with minimal effort. Run your knife around the avocado length wise, twist the halves apart, and remove the pit. Scope out the avocado flesh from the skin and place into a medium/large bowl. Next cut 1-2 limes in half and squeeze the juice into the bowl with the avocados. I base the amount of lime juice on the consistence of the guacamole after smashing it up. Don’t smash yet, we still need to add 1-4 minced cloves of garlic.
You are starting to see a pattern here. Initially, you might feel a bit of frustration and that is completely normal. You want me to tell you precise measurements, so you can get all your ingredients lined up and nail this recipe. “Not gonna do it” (in my best George H. Bush voice). We are cooking here, not baking. Now, use your potato masher and take out your frustration on the avocados, lime juice, and garlic in front of you.
You feel better? Good. Now take 1-2 jalapenos and remove the seeds/ribbing and mince. Or, leave the seeds and ribbing, it is your guacamole. I HIGHLY recommend wearing a glove when cutting up spicy peppers due to an unfortunate incident involving me, some habenaro peppers, going to the restroom, my wife being right, and a bowl of milk. Any who…cut up 1-2 roma tomatoes and add them to the party. That leads us to a controversial herb called cilantro. Only those who love cilantro should still be reading this post, so go ahead and cut up a bunch of cilantro and throw it into the bowl.
Now we can move to the spices section. I know you are probably thinking, “but, where the hell is the onion?” My wife isn’t a big fan of the overpowering flavor that onion brings to the table. Therefore raw onion is not in my recipe, but a close relative might show up.
The spices in guacamole are subtle, but make a huge impact on the flavor profile. Lets start with 1/8 – 1/4 tsp. of salt because those wonderful chips are going to bring a ton of salt with them and lets say 1/4 – 1/2 tsp. of white pepper. Next comes the 1/4 – 1/2 tsp. of cayenne pepper. I usually base the amount of cayenne pepper on how many and how spicy the jalapenos are. Remember the onion relative I talked about? Well, here it is, 1/4 – 1/2 tsp. of onion powder. This gives it just that little bit of onion flavor, but doesn’t steal the show. Last but not least is 1/2 tsp. – crap ton of ground cumin. I am a huge cumin fan and love the smokey flavor. I have been meaning to try toasting cumin seeds and then grinding them, but I always find a reason not to add more steps. Now stir everything up and you are now ready to take that first glorious bite of homemade guacamole.
I know what you are thinking, you will always compare store bought guacamole to this recipe and store bought will never be as good. You’re right and you’re welcome!
Mr. Delish's Guacamole
- 4-6 Ripe Avocados
- 1-2 Limes
- 1-4 cloves Garlic
- 1-2 Jalapenos
- 1-2 Roma Tomatoes
- 1-2 bunches Cilantro
- 1/8 - 1/4 tsp Salt
- 1/4 - 1/2 tsp White Pepper
- 1/4 - 1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper
- 1/4 - 1/2 tsp Onion Powder
- 1/2 - crap ton tsp Ground Cumin